Reflecting

Okay, we have now had two outings with Kala (whom we are hoping to adopt). For the past two weekends we have taken her out on Sunday and I have to say...we have had a blast. We have to travel two hours to get to where she is but it has definitely been worth it. The first Sunday it was raining but we didn't let that get us down. We went to the zoo and to chucky-cheese. Kala is 13 years old but she is one of the most well mannered children I have ever known. She is fantastic with our 7 year old, very understanding and patient with her. That is saying alot because a 7 year old (and ours is no different) wants constant attention and in her world it is all about her.

Last Sunday we went to the Cornbread Festival. Yes, we really have such a thing in Tennessee:) After that we went to a place called Reflections Riding and Botanical Gardens. It is nature like few ever see. It was just a good quiet time where we could be calm and together. We had a picnic, that was nice. We all got sunburned so now I know to take sublock next time. We are all enjoying every minute with her.

This weekend we get her on Saturday and we are all looking forward to it. I am really hoping that she will be ready to come and live with us in the next few weeks. It already feels natural when she is with us. She was made for this family. So, if you believe in prayer...please remember Kala when you do pray. She deserves a normal life with a family that loves her. I can't even imagine going through life with no family to share both the good and bad times with.

We finished all our parenting classes and now we are playing the waiting game. I will update as things happen.

Kids are so cute...ya gotta luv'em!

Tuesday Emma (our 7 year old) was walking on a curb in a parking lot we were when she fell onto the pavement. She got both legs and one arm scratched up. She was bleeding from her right knee, the worst injury (thank goodness it wasn't any worse). I can't handle seeing someone bleed, I just want to pass out. We got her all cleaned up and bandaged finally. We were an hour from home and she cried about the whole way. I sent her to school yesterday morning with it bandaged up good thinking that through the day she would forget about it. Well, she came home still crying over it, litterally boo hooing. I got worried thinking that maybe she had done more damaged than what I could see so I called our doctor at 4pm to see if they could see us before they left the office. Well, Emma goes limping big time into the waiting room still whining and pitiful. At this point I am feeling so guilty because I had made her go to school with it hurting. She limps back into the examination room and I pick her up and sit her on the table, the nurse pulls the thing out for this poor baby to lay her leg onto. The doctor comes in and talks to us, he pushes around on her knee asking if certain places hurt then he says he is going to get an X-ray.
Limping all th way to the lab she gets up on the table and has her very first X-ray done. She limps back to the examination room and I put her back on the table to wait on the doctor. When the doctor comes in he says "Well, I didn't see anything in the x-ray that I would be concerned about. She can go back to her normal activities. It is just a little bruised but it is okay." He looks at Emma and says "you are okay, you can go now" and when he said that she jumped right off of the table and walked right down the hall... no sign of pain or limping, just like a new person. I said "Emma why were you limping before and now you aren't?" She looked at me as innocently as a 7year old can and said "the doctor said I was okay so I am okay now". I could have fell over when she said that. I felt like a big dummy, I should have known a scratched knee was fine. I don't know if I will ever learn to know when she is just overreacting. So, long story short....I am going to be paying well over $100 to find out "MY DAUGHTER IS A DRAMA QUEEN". LMAO (only until the bill comes).

A good weigh-in!!!

Wow, this week's weigh-in was good...finally- a good one. I am just scared that next week the 4 pounds will show back up on the scale. I guess we can always find something to worry about. I have now lost 27 pounds (this is only counting what I have lost during the weightloss challenge, I had already lost 15 pounds before that started) and I feel so much better. My initial goal is now 28 pounds away, but I really think when I reach that I will want to lose maybe 10 more. I will have to see what I feel like at that weight. This is great to not be torturing myself with some crazy diet. I have really made a great life style change that will be with me for the rest of my life. It is nice to know that I have that power over an addiction to food. I think we all have that power.... we just have to be ready to find it and willing to use it. The support I have on the message board has been the foundation of my success....I don't feel like I wouldn't have even came close to this change without my new friends. Maybe that is one reason I couldn't succeed before...without support from people that care and understand it is really almost impossible (just my opinion from experience).

I never would have known how the adoption process can wear someone out so quickly. Between going to parenting classes, visiting her, and still living everyday life and all the things I already have to do, I am exhausted. We are in the middle of remodeling our kitchen and I don't know when it is going to be finished. I have all our stuff from the kitchen packed up all over the house, I can't cook or wash any dishes, so we are living on whatever can be microwaved. And in the middle of all of this the agency called yesterday and said they will be here in 6 days for a home study walk thru. OMG!!! Now we are really going to be struggling to get it done before she comes. I would be so embarrassed fo anyone to see my house right now. I am an organization freak and this is killing me. (My motto.... "Organization is the basis of a happy life"....and to me it truly is.) So wish us luck on getting it finished. I know that sounds like plenty of time for most people but my husband works from 12 to 16 hours a day. So he is lucky if he can work on it an hour in the evenings. Oh well....at least life is staying interesting around here anyway. We just have to keep a sense of humor and go on.

I am back, finally!

Wow, I apologize for not being here for so long. I am so happy to know that people were actually reading my blogs. I didn't really understand how to use blogger and I got aggrivated and quit writing.

There is alot happening in my life right now. I have lost 24 pounds so far. My husband and I are trying to adopt a little girl. We have been really busy and doing alot of running so I would have lost more weight but I have had many obstacles lately. I am still hanging in there though and I will get to my goal weight this time. I feel like I have finally discovered the secret (that is not really a secret at all) to weight loss. I used to feel like "lifestyle change" was so far out of my reach. Those words used to scare me to death and I felt like it that was what it was going to take for me to lose weight then I would be obese forever. Now I know that those words have a bigger bark than bite. I have definetly made a "lifestyle change" and I am loving it. When you really want to lose weight and become that healthy person you were meant to be... you can do it. It takes time, alot of support, a little sacrifice, and willingness to learn healthier chooses. It can be done.

Children

It hurts so bad when your kids grow up and seem to not feel the need to spend any time with you anymore. The hurt is nothing words can really describe, you just have to live it to understand. What happened to those kids that loved and needed me so much?

A Southern Thing

I am working hard to build up to more exercise capability and I really do need to quit comparing myself to others. I hadn't even thought about that. I have been worried because the other people on the message boards are talking about higher speeds on the treadmill. I just started on the treadmill a month ago so I guess I am doing good. I have went higher within that month so that is an accomplishment. I am really happy with my weight loss so far.

I wasn't able to work out yesterday because of that pulled muscle and I am going to take it easy today too. I am hoping tomorrow I will feel better and be able to burn some calories. I already know that I am going to have a lower loss in week 2 but that is okay. I am just happy if I maintain this week.

I don't work outside the home. I have the worst possible hobby there is (well, when you think about fitness any way). I want everyone to be warm. I quilt, and to do that I sit alot. That is about all I done before I started this challenge. People call me to make specialty quilts that they can't find anyone else to make for them. I make childrens special theme quilts. I make any size from a baby quilt up to a King size. I really like to make memory quilts for people who have loved ones that have passed away. I make those out of the clothes of the loved one. These give the family some comfort and peace. I love the feeling it gives me when they appreciatte a quilt. I had a lady that called me to make a quilt out of t-shirts. She couldn't find anyone else that woud quilt t-shirt material. Her husband had been involved in the boyscouts since he was a small boy and she wanted me to cut the logos off the shirts into blocks and make a quilt for his birthday. Ofcourse I took that challenge on. They were ecstatic when they got it. That is one of the best feelings in the world when I have made someone happy. I absolutley love making quilts and that is all I want to do constantly.... so I am really having to make some big chages here. I always tell people that my goal in life is to make sure everyone has a handmade quilt. I guess it is a Southern thing, there's nothing like a quilt and I think anyone who never has one is missing out on a good thing. Hand Quilting is becoming a lost talent... very few people do it anymore.

But I know the effort I put into my health is worth every minute of it. I keep telling that when I am smaller and healthier I will be physically able to do so much more than I can now. And I will have plenty of time to make quilts later, I already have a stock pile of them now anyway:)

Thank God for MDMA!!!

I have pulled a muscle in my back. For a week I have been trying to ignore it but this morning when I woke up I knew there was no more ignoring it. I have to go see the doctor today. Yuk...I hate going to the doctor.

One of the worst things about this is that I may not be able to get my exercise in for a few days. It is so funny to think of me being upset because I can't exercise. Three weeks ago you would do good to get me to walk to the mailbox:) Here I am now all about burning those calories for the day.

This weight loss competition has been a real good thing for me. I have been spending so much time on it that I haven't had time to think about the crazy stuff going on in my life. That is a good thing, very good!

There are so many things I want to write about on here but I am just not ready yet. But I will be real soon. I recently divorced my mother. I know that sounds awful but there is a life long story behind it. I know I have done everything in my power to salvage the relationship. It will never happen and it feels so good to be free. I have spent 40 years trying to please someone that could never be pleased in the first place. With God and a research study called MDMA, in the last year and a half I have gotten healing for all the abuse and neglect that I should have never had to live through as a child (and especially with no one to even make an attempt protect me). I no longer have to sit and wonder why God even brought me into this world. I have a purpose. Everything I have been through is a crucial part of my testimony and I know there was a reason for every bit of it. Sometimes I felt like God wasn't there but now I know He was always with me and He always will be.