Children

It hurts so bad when your kids grow up and seem to not feel the need to spend any time with you anymore. The hurt is nothing words can really describe, you just have to live it to understand. What happened to those kids that loved and needed me so much?

A Southern Thing

I am working hard to build up to more exercise capability and I really do need to quit comparing myself to others. I hadn't even thought about that. I have been worried because the other people on the message boards are talking about higher speeds on the treadmill. I just started on the treadmill a month ago so I guess I am doing good. I have went higher within that month so that is an accomplishment. I am really happy with my weight loss so far.

I wasn't able to work out yesterday because of that pulled muscle and I am going to take it easy today too. I am hoping tomorrow I will feel better and be able to burn some calories. I already know that I am going to have a lower loss in week 2 but that is okay. I am just happy if I maintain this week.

I don't work outside the home. I have the worst possible hobby there is (well, when you think about fitness any way). I want everyone to be warm. I quilt, and to do that I sit alot. That is about all I done before I started this challenge. People call me to make specialty quilts that they can't find anyone else to make for them. I make childrens special theme quilts. I make any size from a baby quilt up to a King size. I really like to make memory quilts for people who have loved ones that have passed away. I make those out of the clothes of the loved one. These give the family some comfort and peace. I love the feeling it gives me when they appreciatte a quilt. I had a lady that called me to make a quilt out of t-shirts. She couldn't find anyone else that woud quilt t-shirt material. Her husband had been involved in the boyscouts since he was a small boy and she wanted me to cut the logos off the shirts into blocks and make a quilt for his birthday. Ofcourse I took that challenge on. They were ecstatic when they got it. That is one of the best feelings in the world when I have made someone happy. I absolutley love making quilts and that is all I want to do constantly.... so I am really having to make some big chages here. I always tell people that my goal in life is to make sure everyone has a handmade quilt. I guess it is a Southern thing, there's nothing like a quilt and I think anyone who never has one is missing out on a good thing. Hand Quilting is becoming a lost talent... very few people do it anymore.

But I know the effort I put into my health is worth every minute of it. I keep telling that when I am smaller and healthier I will be physically able to do so much more than I can now. And I will have plenty of time to make quilts later, I already have a stock pile of them now anyway:)

Thank God for MDMA!!!

I have pulled a muscle in my back. For a week I have been trying to ignore it but this morning when I woke up I knew there was no more ignoring it. I have to go see the doctor today. Yuk...I hate going to the doctor.

One of the worst things about this is that I may not be able to get my exercise in for a few days. It is so funny to think of me being upset because I can't exercise. Three weeks ago you would do good to get me to walk to the mailbox:) Here I am now all about burning those calories for the day.

This weight loss competition has been a real good thing for me. I have been spending so much time on it that I haven't had time to think about the crazy stuff going on in my life. That is a good thing, very good!

There are so many things I want to write about on here but I am just not ready yet. But I will be real soon. I recently divorced my mother. I know that sounds awful but there is a life long story behind it. I know I have done everything in my power to salvage the relationship. It will never happen and it feels so good to be free. I have spent 40 years trying to please someone that could never be pleased in the first place. With God and a research study called MDMA, in the last year and a half I have gotten healing for all the abuse and neglect that I should have never had to live through as a child (and especially with no one to even make an attempt protect me). I no longer have to sit and wonder why God even brought me into this world. I have a purpose. Everything I have been through is a crucial part of my testimony and I know there was a reason for every bit of it. Sometimes I felt like God wasn't there but now I know He was always with me and He always will be.

1 week down

I did good for my first week in the weight loss competition. I lost 5 pounds... GO ME! I know I probably won't be able to lose 5 pounds every week but I sure can give it a try. I just keep telling myself that if I can do that 10 more times I will be at my goal weight. When I hit my goal weight I may decide to go even lower. After-all, then I will know it is possible and not so hard to do.

The only thing that worries me is that it seems like everytime I start losing weight I sabotage myself. I think in a way my weight might be my security. I have to work on that.

I can't wait to wear cute clothes!

I'm finally here

Okay, I will pretend this was a hard to figure out how to get this (blogger) started up. I am excited to have somewhere to write about the journeys that I embark on and those past ones also. Anyway, as short and silly as it is....this is the first of the blogs:)

I plan on writing about my feelings and experiences in weight loss. I also have lots of other stuff I want to share here too.