Good day....

Well, today is the first day of the weight-loss challenge. It couldn't have come soon enough for me. I have gained back 13 pounds since the last challenge. This is a good day. I feel like going running today and getting started right. They say "pain is the weakness leaving your body", well...I have alot of pain AND weakness to get rid of. I can't think of a better way to do it. Sometimes it just feels good to concentrate on myself instead of concentrating on everybody around me. Some would say that sounds selfish but right now I don't look at it like that at all. I want to be healthy and this is what I need to do to achieve that. Okay, with that said, I am going running.

Hope everyone has a great day!!!

Awesome Book

I just finished reading "The Shack" by William P. Young, and I would recommend it to anyone. Oh my goodness....I couldn't put it down. I had a hard time getting anything else done because it was so consuming. If you like to read, this is a book I can't imagine anyone not liking. It starts out a little slow but when you get to the 2nd chapter it is amazing.

I just had to tell everyone about it.

Nothing really going on to blog about right now. I am trying to get back on the weight-loss track so my life is kinda boring right now with me arguing with myself. By monday I will have a workout schedule laid out for myself. Counting calories is not a real big deal, that is something I can deal with pretty good. The working out part is where I fall short. I seem to always have the excuse of no time. I am fixin' that problem right now. I am guilty of sitting around being bored- not knowing what to do with myself when Emma is at school and Ronnie is at work. No more of that non-sense.....that time can no longer be wasted like that.

It seems like when you get off track it is so hard to get going again. I am going to do this. I felt so good before when I was eating right and working out. I wanted to be moving all the time. I still have that in me and now I have to do it.

Weight loss challenge!!!

Okay, I hope I am back for a while this time. We try to live in a drama-free home but lately I don't know what has happened. I am hoping to seriously get back on track now.

Mathew McNutt is starting his weight loss challenge again. If you-all haven't heard of him you really need to check out his blog and consider doing the chellenge. I lost 27 pounds last time he did one. It is amazing how much difference the support system there helps. It is free and really fun so check it out at http://matthewmcnutt.com/?p=1776&cpage=1#comment-23523 . I think it starts on Sept. 22nd so you have plenty of time to read about it and get prepared for it.

We no longer have Kala with us. We came to the conclusion that we were not the best placement for her. It was a mutual decision between all of us and I hope she finds what she is looking for. We will always love her and we are hoping she will keep in touch with us. It is so hard to find out that you can't help someone you love so much. We tried so hard to give her all the emotional support and love she needed but it just wasn't working for her. I guess I will always question myself, "was there something else I could have done?". I hope time really does heal because right now I can't even explain the hurt I am feeling inside. I feel like a failure and I feel disconnected. All I can do now is pray for her and hope she prospers wherever life takes her.

Now I am just trying to get back on track and get healthy. I haven't even stepped on the scales lately because I am scared to. I have gained so much weight back I feel awful. I can't get into some of my clothes and I just feel huge again. I will get back into the zone. I don't know if I want to weight on the challenge to start or get started now. I really need to get started now but I would love to do like last time and start with everyone else. The support of the others really did make a BIG difference. Oh well, I will make a decision one way or the other and let you-all know.

Seriously, if you haven't seen his blog.....check it out. I will post again real soon:)

Still here

I just wanted to take a moment to let everyone know that I am sill here. Things have been so chaotic around here, I just never get time to blog much now. School starts in a week and a half so I will be able to get back on schedule. I do miss reading blogs.

Kala is now living with us....so all is well as planned. I will be back on here really soon, don't give up on me :)

Mental Plateau

I was leaving this on a comment for someone and I decided I needed to post it on my blog.....

I believe I have been on a "mental Plateau" (as I call it) with my weight-loss journey. I really think we all have those and they are probably worse than the plateaus where the scale just won't budge for us.

I was reading a book about weight-loss and the author was talking about when she got down to certain weights it would spark a memory of something that happened in her life when she was at that weight (before she had gained- on her way up). One weight was where she was when her dad died, one was when she divorced, one was her highest pregnancy weight, etc. and these weights showing up on the scale triggered something emotional and she had a rough time moving on from that certain number on the scale. It sounds plausible to me...I really believe that is where I am right now. So hopefully understanding what might be going on can help.

I did lose 1 pound this week, yay me!!!! Things are getting more settled down here so maybe I can keep it going this time. Kala moves in on July 13th so maybe I can get back on schedule and that will help so much. I know I can do this...I am not giving up now- NO WAY!!!

It gets better...keep reading....

It seems that in this weight loss journey there is always something getting in the way. It also seems that I go from one temptation to another constantly. As soon as I have overcome one problematic infatuation with food then another one takes it's place. Most of the time the vision of these enemy foods outweighs my vision of "a healthy and fit me".

I caught myself yesterday in very embarrassing predicament while going through McDonald's drive thru for the second time within the same couple of hours getting an ice cream cone. When I got to the window to pay, it was the same cashier as the first time and I was absolutely discusted with myself. I was so ashamed that she had seen me getting two ice cream cones in the same day. Ofcourse in reality she had probably seen over 2oo other cars come through in her shift so how would she remember me out of all those people...the fat woman addicted to ice cream? In the end it is a very good thing that I was humiliated because I have now swurn off ice cream. I guess that was my reality check. I had been getting ice cream cones every time we went out for the past couple of weeks and I had been making it okay in my mind because McDonald's has frozen yogurt and a cone is only 150 calories. I wish now that I hadn't taken in all those horrible extra calories. I was doing so good at the beginning of this journey but since things have gotten so out of wack around here I have really lost my way.......if only this journey came with a map.

Other than that stuff everything is going good. All our children have promised us that they will be coming down tomorrow to cook out and visit. I am so excited about that. It seems like it has been so long since we have all been together. God has really been blessing us lately and life is good. I thank Him everyday for bringing me to this place of peace that he has put me in. I am going to share some pictures with you.....sometimes God gives me these beautiful scenes to admire and I like to get pictures of them when I possibly can. Sometimes He puts then on land and sometimes He paints them in the sky but wherever...He is the greatest artist in the universe and I am one of His biggest fans. :) I wish you-all could see them like I did but here is the best I can do and that is to share the pictures with you.....

I love rainbows....They remind me of God's promises of good.


The river that runs through the Smokey Mountains in Cades Cove.

There is nothing like seeing a sunset on the way down the mountain....beautiful.

Sunset at the beach in Mt. Pleasant South Carolina.

Ah...the beautiful mountains of home!!!

Elk grazing on Jellico Mountain...

I live in Frost Bottom....It got it's name for a good reason... It is always at least 5 degrees colder in the winter than anywhere else around us. We live at the foot of Windrock Mountain and it is so beautiful here.

Cades Cove historical graveyard...a dear just wandered in while we were looking at markers, amazing.

This cloud was absolutely beautiful...this picture doesn't even come close to seeing it person. Do you think someone in heaven wanted to go surfing. :) To me it looks like an awsome surfing wave.

This cloud was in the sky at the same time as the last one. When I was taking a picture of this one the other cloud was behind me. God wa working a miracle for us at the sae time and we didn't even know it until later. God is so AWESOME!!!

Things are crazy in this jungle!!!

It has been a while since I have had time to sit down long enough to post anything. My life seems to have been turned upside down and inside out lately. I can't seem to keep any kind of schedule no matter how hard I try...and I feel like I am chasing my tail.Now I know how my poor little doggie feels. :)

I have a very hard time functioning like this. I am gaining weight back and I am so angry at myself. It is hard to keep track of every calorie and make time for working out, now more than ever. My doctor has changed my medicine for ADD and I can't even tell if it is working because everything is crazy around here right now anyway. Kala is now spending friday thru sunday with us and we are all trying to adjust to being together. She is scheduled to move in with us on July the 13th and we are so excited about that. I will admit it is very ovrwhelming to me to have another child in the house. I really underestimated the extra time, laundry, cooking, entertaining, Emma's jealousy and everything else that comes with it. This was the first weekend we had her overnight friday thru sunday and it was so much different than daytime visits. I am not really complaining even though it probably sounds like it. I was so happy when she came home friday night and the first thing she done was fix her bedroom how she wanted it. She sit her stuff around in th perfect places and moved the furniture around. There are stuffed animals, notebooks, perfumes, journels, teenage stuff etc. sitting around and it really looks like a real teens room. Even if there were overwhelming moments we did have a great weekend together and I wouldn't trade it for nothing. I know by the time she moves in we will be adjusted pretty well.

I am really going to work on ME this week. I promise blog land " am counting every calorie today thru friday this week and I will work out at least 3 times"!!!!! I hope somebody holds me to that. I need all the push I can get right now....HELP!!!!?????

Okay, I am goin to try to get this house cleaned up and anything else that needs to be done today. I hope everyone has a great day and I am going to really try to blog more this week than I have lately.