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Friday, October 9, 2009

I want....

OMG!!! I am so depressed and it is so hard for me too lose weight when I am this way. I want to eat everything in sight. It is like there are two of me. The person inside wants to get out and run until I can't run no more but the person on the outside is so depressed she just wants to crawl in a hole and die. Yes, I said that...DIE!!! I don't understand why I have to get like this, I was doing so good. I hate to hear people (that have never been diagnosed with depression) say they are so depressed...most people throw that word around like it is nothing. Depression really sucks. I can be doing great for six months or maybe a year and then it hits me like a ton of bricks. I hate talking to people about it because I know nobody wants to listen to me whine. I hope it goes away soon. I just want to run until it is gone, I want to sweat, I want to feel my muscles spasming because I worked-out, I want to feel good again.