Sadly Nothing

Wow, I was just reading another blog (Angie's) and I was so ashamed of myself for slacking so much lately. The title of her post was "What have you done today". For probably a week and a half my answer would be really nothing. :( I believe I am depressed because Mathew McNutt's weightloss competition is over. I am just lost...and I seen this coming before it was over. I know it only ended tuesday but I am really feeling lost just knowing that I don't have to report my weight every week, there is no message boards to go to for motivation, and I really didn't know how dependent on all that I had become. Lol, I sound like a mental case here this morning. I am going to have to find another challenge to enter. I need to know there are other people having the same struggles as I am. If I don't jump back in really soon I am afraid I will get sidetracked and all my efforts will be wasted. God is good and I know he will show me the way. I am no longer going to stress about it...I am going to fix it. :)

Before and After

Wow, yesterday was the last day of the challenge. I can't believe how fast the time passed. I started strong but kept hitting plateaus and slowed down some toward the end. The first picture is my "AFTER" and the next one is my "BEFORE". I look at the before picture and I think about how I was wearing those baggy clothes to cover up my fat....I was making it so much worse. I am so glad to be where I am now and I don't feel the need to do that anymore. Over-all I think I done good considering this is the longest I have ever been able to stick with the decision to lose weight. I definitly made a lifestyle change and the challenge may be over but the weightloss journey is still going for me. I am 27 pounds from my goal, woo hoo!!! In 2008 I weighed 230 and lost 15 pounds. In January of 2009 I started the challenge at 215, lost 28 pounds, and now I weigh 187. It has been so long since I have seen numbers under 200 on the scale...it just amazes me to see it now. Although I know there is no chance of being the winner of the challenge...I know I have won anyway. I wasn't doing it for a prize- I was doing it for exactly what I got...a healthier me. I am proud of myself and I am loving me right now.

Another Day

Someone said they tried to comment on one of my blogs and couldn't. I am hoping someone could try it to see if something is wrong so I can try to fix it. I don't know a whole lot about blogger and I went into my settings to try to find out what the problem could be. Maybe it is working now. If someone could try it for me I would greatly appreciatte it.

I am trying to get back on track with my exercise this week but haven't done to good. It is friday and I have only had 2 workouts so far. Maybe I can get one it today. I feel like lately my life has just gotten turned upside down and I can't seem to get it back. I hope things calm down soon...but I have a feeling I am just going to adjust to the way it is now. It may take a few weeks but I will do it.

We left our church so now we are looking for another one. I can't go without church more than a week. Where we live there is a church everywhere you turn but it is hard to find the "one". I know that might sound crazy but I believe there is a certain place for everyone to be. Maybe when we find ours everything will fall back into place. Church is a very important part of our lives. God has done so much for us...that is the least we can do for him. Our pastor resigned the same night we left and we are so close to his wife and him. My daughter calls them Mamaw and Pappaw and they couldn't treat her any better if they really were. They spend so much time with her, taking her fishing, hiking, shopping...really whatever she wants to do. I am really hoping that God will lead us all to a church where we can be together. I miss hearing him preach and I miss really just miss being in church with them. I don't have any family outside of my husband and children so they have really filled that void for me. Isn't it funny how strangers can take you in and show more love and concern than your own blood relatives ever did? That has always been amazing to me but then again- that is how sweet God's love is. I can't even fathom how much he loves us. I look at my children and think about how deeply I love them and then I think about how God's love is stronger than even a mother's love for her children. That is some awesome LOVE!!! I am so glad I am His child. :)

Well, I could write a book on that subject this morning but I am going to stop before I get started. I have so many other things to do. I pray that everyone has a very blessed day!!!

Reflecting

Okay, we have now had two outings with Kala (whom we are hoping to adopt). For the past two weekends we have taken her out on Sunday and I have to say...we have had a blast. We have to travel two hours to get to where she is but it has definitely been worth it. The first Sunday it was raining but we didn't let that get us down. We went to the zoo and to chucky-cheese. Kala is 13 years old but she is one of the most well mannered children I have ever known. She is fantastic with our 7 year old, very understanding and patient with her. That is saying alot because a 7 year old (and ours is no different) wants constant attention and in her world it is all about her.

Last Sunday we went to the Cornbread Festival. Yes, we really have such a thing in Tennessee:) After that we went to a place called Reflections Riding and Botanical Gardens. It is nature like few ever see. It was just a good quiet time where we could be calm and together. We had a picnic, that was nice. We all got sunburned so now I know to take sublock next time. We are all enjoying every minute with her.

This weekend we get her on Saturday and we are all looking forward to it. I am really hoping that she will be ready to come and live with us in the next few weeks. It already feels natural when she is with us. She was made for this family. So, if you believe in prayer...please remember Kala when you do pray. She deserves a normal life with a family that loves her. I can't even imagine going through life with no family to share both the good and bad times with.

We finished all our parenting classes and now we are playing the waiting game. I will update as things happen.

Kids are so cute...ya gotta luv'em!

Tuesday Emma (our 7 year old) was walking on a curb in a parking lot we were when she fell onto the pavement. She got both legs and one arm scratched up. She was bleeding from her right knee, the worst injury (thank goodness it wasn't any worse). I can't handle seeing someone bleed, I just want to pass out. We got her all cleaned up and bandaged finally. We were an hour from home and she cried about the whole way. I sent her to school yesterday morning with it bandaged up good thinking that through the day she would forget about it. Well, she came home still crying over it, litterally boo hooing. I got worried thinking that maybe she had done more damaged than what I could see so I called our doctor at 4pm to see if they could see us before they left the office. Well, Emma goes limping big time into the waiting room still whining and pitiful. At this point I am feeling so guilty because I had made her go to school with it hurting. She limps back into the examination room and I pick her up and sit her on the table, the nurse pulls the thing out for this poor baby to lay her leg onto. The doctor comes in and talks to us, he pushes around on her knee asking if certain places hurt then he says he is going to get an X-ray.
Limping all th way to the lab she gets up on the table and has her very first X-ray done. She limps back to the examination room and I put her back on the table to wait on the doctor. When the doctor comes in he says "Well, I didn't see anything in the x-ray that I would be concerned about. She can go back to her normal activities. It is just a little bruised but it is okay." He looks at Emma and says "you are okay, you can go now" and when he said that she jumped right off of the table and walked right down the hall... no sign of pain or limping, just like a new person. I said "Emma why were you limping before and now you aren't?" She looked at me as innocently as a 7year old can and said "the doctor said I was okay so I am okay now". I could have fell over when she said that. I felt like a big dummy, I should have known a scratched knee was fine. I don't know if I will ever learn to know when she is just overreacting. So, long story short....I am going to be paying well over $100 to find out "MY DAUGHTER IS A DRAMA QUEEN". LMAO (only until the bill comes).

A good weigh-in!!!

Wow, this week's weigh-in was good...finally- a good one. I am just scared that next week the 4 pounds will show back up on the scale. I guess we can always find something to worry about. I have now lost 27 pounds (this is only counting what I have lost during the weightloss challenge, I had already lost 15 pounds before that started) and I feel so much better. My initial goal is now 28 pounds away, but I really think when I reach that I will want to lose maybe 10 more. I will have to see what I feel like at that weight. This is great to not be torturing myself with some crazy diet. I have really made a great life style change that will be with me for the rest of my life. It is nice to know that I have that power over an addiction to food. I think we all have that power.... we just have to be ready to find it and willing to use it. The support I have on the message board has been the foundation of my success....I don't feel like I wouldn't have even came close to this change without my new friends. Maybe that is one reason I couldn't succeed before...without support from people that care and understand it is really almost impossible (just my opinion from experience).

I never would have known how the adoption process can wear someone out so quickly. Between going to parenting classes, visiting her, and still living everyday life and all the things I already have to do, I am exhausted. We are in the middle of remodeling our kitchen and I don't know when it is going to be finished. I have all our stuff from the kitchen packed up all over the house, I can't cook or wash any dishes, so we are living on whatever can be microwaved. And in the middle of all of this the agency called yesterday and said they will be here in 6 days for a home study walk thru. OMG!!! Now we are really going to be struggling to get it done before she comes. I would be so embarrassed fo anyone to see my house right now. I am an organization freak and this is killing me. (My motto.... "Organization is the basis of a happy life"....and to me it truly is.) So wish us luck on getting it finished. I know that sounds like plenty of time for most people but my husband works from 12 to 16 hours a day. So he is lucky if he can work on it an hour in the evenings. Oh well....at least life is staying interesting around here anyway. We just have to keep a sense of humor and go on.

I am back, finally!

Wow, I apologize for not being here for so long. I am so happy to know that people were actually reading my blogs. I didn't really understand how to use blogger and I got aggrivated and quit writing.

There is alot happening in my life right now. I have lost 24 pounds so far. My husband and I are trying to adopt a little girl. We have been really busy and doing alot of running so I would have lost more weight but I have had many obstacles lately. I am still hanging in there though and I will get to my goal weight this time. I feel like I have finally discovered the secret (that is not really a secret at all) to weight loss. I used to feel like "lifestyle change" was so far out of my reach. Those words used to scare me to death and I felt like it that was what it was going to take for me to lose weight then I would be obese forever. Now I know that those words have a bigger bark than bite. I have definetly made a "lifestyle change" and I am loving it. When you really want to lose weight and become that healthy person you were meant to be... you can do it. It takes time, alot of support, a little sacrifice, and willingness to learn healthier chooses. It can be done.