Firsts for 13

This was the first weekend that we had Kala both Saturday and Sunday, for 10 hours each day. On Saturday we cooked out and invited my Daddy and my Daughter-in-law. Kala had not met either of them yet. Our neighbor and her son also came over. We had a real nice time just sitting around most of the day just talking and playing horse shoes and stuff. I unfortunately didn't count my calorie intake because of all that was going on around me. On Sunday we went to church, came home, cooked dinner (I had a light dinner), and sit around taking it easy all day. Ronnie decided it would be fun to bake a cake with the girls. There went "a light dinner" right down the drain. No matter how light dinner was it couldn't be light enough to make up for a big piece of calorie filled, fattening, sugary piece of cake. It seems like I am getting weak, I am so angry with myself today for failing so miserably. Now I have to pick myself back up and probably lose even more weight for the weight I let myself gain. Being ADD is no fun when things change around you, like schedules. I just seem to lose all sense of direction when that happens.



Good things did happen this weekend though, in ways that not many people can understand. Kala had some firsts while she was here. Things you would never think of as a 13year old never having experienced. After mixing the cake batter, Ronnie took the (I can't think of the name of the things you attached to the mixer, the things that spin and mix the batter) things off the mixer handing one to Emma (she loves to lick the batter off) and handing one to Kala. Kala looked at it and asked "is it good" with a look of confusion. Ronnie said "yes baby it is good, Emma loves it", realizing that she had never even experience this thing that is just a normal thing to so many people. She had never even helped bake a cake, cookies, bread or anything that a child should always get the joy of doing with their Mom (or Dad) from a very young age. I wanted to cry. She played horshoes for the first time, wore makeup for the first time, and a couple of other things that I can't remember right now. It is amazing how we can take so many little things for granted and not realize that not everyone is as blessed with those same things. This is going to be a good journey for us. I want to give her these things she has never had. She has never had a real Mom, Daddy, or a sister. I feel so blessed that this family is